• Paulina Bolek

Holy No, Holy Yes


With the craziness of Holidays and New Year upon us, not mentioning all the big astrological events plus an ongoing intensity on Earth in general, there is one magic word that can make almost everything better..


When everything on the outside seems to be rushing blindly forward, putting pressure on us to follow suit, there's just one thing to do…


I tell myself:


Hey Mama..

Slow down and say "No".


Slow down enough to breathe deeply and consciously.

Slow down enough to feel what wants to be felt.

Slow down enough to discern what feels good, and what doesn't.


And to the latter.. Say the Holy NO.

Say NO to expectations of others.

Say NO to the unreasonable expectations you've put on yourself.

Say NO to what feels heavy, draining and depressing.


A phone call to a family member out of obligation? NO

A trip to the crowded shopping mall to buy more crap you don't actually need? NO

A coffee date with that friend that always leaves you feeling a bit confused and deflated? NO

A fancy music class with your toddler (because you know, brain development) that feels more exhausting than fulfilling? NO

Critical and judgmental self-talk that keeps you small and anxious? NO


Once we start feeling more comfortable with our Holy NO, we will start seeing breadcrumbs leading us to our Holy YES. For many of us this is the direction. For many of us, going through the motions in deep disconnect from ourselves and our joy, feeling our AUTHENTIC yeses is way more difficult than feeling our noes. And so we start where there's most ease and grace. No shame in that. No shame in starting small and slow. Soon it will get easier and our Holy NO might more naturally lead us to a Holy YES.


Waiting for the moment when you can feel the joy and desire to connect with a loved one on the phone? YES

Subbing traditional xmas gifts with handwritten letters of appreciation? YES

A walk in the forest with that friend that makes you laugh and feel hopeful? YES

Staying in with your toddler and offering undivided attention (cuz, you know.. nothing like loving undivided attention for brain development) while HE leads the playtime? YES

Talking to yourself like you would to your best friend to support them and hold them in love? YES


Make it Easy for yourself, Mama.

Make it Joyful.

Make it Nourishing.


Who says that these days?

When all the gurus, coaches and teachers have added to our load also personal development and a plethora of unsustainable practices that only make us feel even more like failures? "Not only I'm failing as a mom cuz I lost my patience today, but I can't even get up at 4 am to hold that pose and breath and mantra for 475638 minutes 25 times a week! Uhhh we're all doomed!" (Yes, that's what's happening on a daily basis in my mind).


Tune all this stuff out, Mama..

What would feel easy, and joyful, and nourishing today? Slow down, take a breath, ask yourself again: what would feel easy, and joyful, and nourishing today? Listen. Find your way there. And say YES.


🙏🏻💖



*text inspired by a recent post on "hell yes" vs. "hell no", and the Wild Soul Movement Embodiment Challenge by Elizabeth Dialto


© 2020 by Paulina Bolek