If my recent posts on gender and what might seem like a “radicalized” approach have left you a bit taken aback, I’d like to share the why behind my actions.
This has been a long time coming. 😉
For years, I’ve been grappling with topics of gender and identity in the personal development world - a path I entered after years of academic education in philosophy and gender studies. It's been a necessary and very inspiring journey of softening around the edges, listening, and reshaping my inner world. I’m very grateful for that growth, even if some of the memories make me cringe now and then 😉
Like the time I dove headfirst into polarity teachings, yearning for a “masculine king” to save me from having to be an adult human with adult responsibilities (thanks, unresolved daddy issues!). Or when I devoted myself wholeheartedly to the “rise of the feminine” thinking I'm joining a feminist coven of witches but almost got swept up in instagram goddess culture and tantric-tradwife movement. Bless my heart 😌
But once a feminist killjoy, always a feminist killjoy 🙂
When I started reclaiming my queer identity - an awakening that unfolded alongside a collaboration and romantic partnership with a fantastic bi-cultural woman facilitator and activist - something shifted. I began to feel, more acutely, the weight of patriarchy and colonialism in transformational spaces directly in my own body. This awakening hit even closer to home within our relationship, as I witnessed and deeply felt the impact of exclusion through my partner's lived experiences.
As we both grappled with belonging in our own ways, I stopped “just” noticing or empathizing with the exclusion of others - I started feeling my own. And yes, I wish I had gotten angrier on behalf of others (and I did get angry plenty) but I suppose really landing it in my own body (and wanting to stand with my beloved) was the missing piece that propelled me into action. Consciously moving away from the "white savior” complex, I was reignited in the knowing that liberation work is crucial for all of us, that it is crucial for me. That it's not enough for me to be an ally. I wanted to be an accomplice (thank you dr. @yabably for this distinction)
And now, I find myself weaving together two decades of learning, exploring, and questioning. I don’t know exactly where this journey will lead, but here’s what I do know: I dream of transformational and healing spaces that are queer, feminist, anti-racist, and anti-colonial. More inclusive spaces that invite joy and connection while staying conscious of the realities of systemic oppression, privilege, and exclusion. Safer spaces that are expansive yet sensitive to the inextricable connection between personal and collective liberation. This reconstruction and reconfiguration starts within my own body, mind and inner world. And within the spaces I facilitate.
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